Dealing With Workplace Bullies

Joe Weinlick
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If a boss or a co-worker is constantly insulting you or your performance, putting you down, yelling at you or stealing credit for your work, you're dealing with a workplace bully. Approximately 35 percent of Americans have been the victims of bullying, according to a study by the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute in conjunction with Zogby. Workers must take action and confront the individual if they want to stop bullying in its tracks.

Many workers have a hard time finding the courage to confront bullies — but by doing nothing or going along with bullying behavior, they are enabling it. Employees enable workplace bullies by allowing inappropriate behavior to persist in professional situations, avoiding talking about negative feelings and venting about the workplace bully rather than taking the matter to HR.

Take a first step towards resolution by setting a limit concerning how much of this behavior you are willing to allow, and prepare a response for when you reach this limit. Describe the workplace bully's unwanted behavior to him in an objective fashion, and explain how this is impacting your work. Warn the bully that you do not plan to continue to put up with this behavior.

As frustrating and hurtful as workplace bullies are, they are still human. They may be lashing out because they don't feel a sense of safety, worth or belonging in the workplace, causing them to have what can be equated to an adult temper tantrum. Having a conversation about what the bully wants and what achieving it would do for him can help you understand the motivation behind the behavior.

If the workplace bully is higher up on the employment ladder or if confrontation does not solve the issue, document each instance of bullying behavior with specific details as well as the date and time of the incident. If co-workers witnessed the bullying or are also victims, ask them to document incidents as well. If there is physical evidence of the bullying, such as an email or other correspondence, print out a hard copy to present to the HR department.

When bringing the issue up to HR, maintain a straightforward conversation that begins with naming the bully in question. Give details of the bullying behavior and the impact that it has on workers and their performance. Show any documentation at this time. If the HR professional agrees that a problem exists, work together to create a plan of action in which the bully's progress can be measured.

Proactive efforts are often necessary to stop bullying in the workplace, but it can be a challenge to work up the courage to confront a bully. Consider practicing your response with a friend or in front of a mirror to be ready when the time comes to confront the workplace bully.


Photo courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 
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  • Alejandro L. Sandoval
    Alejandro L. Sandoval •

    @Nancy I was merely commenting on the piece. You pretty much repeated what I said. However, Thank you for your commentary, insight & opinion.

  • issam m.
    issam m. •

    think you Nancy

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson •

    @Yvonne so sorry to hear what happened to you. Yes, I think we have all been in the position where a young, good-looking, flirtatious woman comes into the mix and the guys are tripping over their tongues. But trust me when I tell you that her time will come to. What goes around comes around as my Mom used to say. You are lucky to be out of that environment. Take your skills and experience to a company that will appreciate you for who you are. If not another company, could you transfer to another department? Are you the only one that this affects? If not, then maybe two or more of you could approach HR and explain what is happening before your very eyes. I am not going to promise that things will change right away but HR is required, by law, to investigate all allegations when it comes to bullying. Good luck with whatever you decide upon!

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson •

    @Daniel, sometimes it does feel like they are all in cahoots with each other but that's not always the case. If you are being mistreated you have several options: talk to your boss - privately one on one and explain how you feel. Maybe he doesn't even realize it: talk to HR and find out what your options are: or you could just resign your position. If you love the company and it's just your boss who is hard to live with, maybe you could do a lateral transfer into another department or division? It certainly is up to you but living in a toxic environment is not healthy for anyone - not for you, your coworkers or even the boss who is the bully. We wish you all the best.

  • Yvonne W.
    Yvonne W. •

    There is always more to everyone's situation to deviate from the above. When a 'prettier', 'younger' and flirtatious woman is brought into the mix it can be very dejecting. I was in a small dept that this occurred. Bullying? How about a swelled head? To the men, she was constantly smiling and flirtatious, getting all the work in the section. Anyone over 30 it seems was feeble brained and had no worthwhile contributing skills/knowledge.

    Two bosses transitioned in/out of dept. First had a big crush on her, second relied heavily on her because was so new didn't know material. So she took on a larger role, it didn't help she took it upon herself to order me around. This was her first job & it went to her head. She had no experience whatsoever in managerial supervising. She was micromanaging, overbearing at time and very sarcastic.

    t was hard to go into work doing nothing and made to feel insignificant. I was ignored, isolated & alienated. I was neglected no supervisor noticed nor cared to see the dynamic between us.

    While she thrived, I wilted. I hated it. Finally, I got let go because of 'inconsistencies' she wrote me up for. By the wy, she learned her skills from me which is even more insulting.

  • Daniel T.
    Daniel T. •

    If your boss mistreats you HR will not help they are all "buddies" who will back each other. It's a internal problem with loss of integrity.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson •

    @Alejandro, sounds like it might be time to find employment elsewhere. If you can't even count on HR to back you up, then maybe you should really consider your options. Why stay at a company where you have to put up with bullying all of the time knowing that no one is going to come to your aid. Yes of course females can be bullies also. I have had the displeasure of working for just such a person. I got out of there as fast as humanly possible. Most states now are right to work states but you could still start searching for and find another position. The job market is starting to open up a bit more so if you haven't job searched recently, you might be surprised. Life is too short to be stuck in a position where you dread going to work every day.

  • Alejandro L. Sandoval
    Alejandro L. Sandoval •

    All of this is great info, but if the organization is so corrupt, that going to HR does nothing because of the organizations "clique" atmosphere. There wouldn't be much else you could do other than to find employment elsewhere, which really sucks since if you would have vested so much time in the organization already it is maddening and in the State Of Florida it's a right to work state so as an employee you're pretty much out of luck. Lastly, the bully can also be Female.

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson •

    @Denise, it sounds like your time with that particular company is over. It's hard to fight against a "he said/she said" situation. Maybe you need to consider looking for another position with another company. Wishing you all the best.

  • Denise C.
    Denise C. •

    I was hired to drive the only vehicle this company had with a cpcn#. I later found out that she had a partner who carried the licence. After transporting him to his home due to.being intoxicated, I informed him of my past with a devilish ex who lied to the police to ruin my life. About 3 weeks later, he says he has fbi agents booked for 3 days and asked if I was ever arrested. I was honest and said yes, but it was dropped due to a 215 lb male lie. So ever since im not allowed to drive anymore. Any suggestions on the situation?

  • Nancy Anderson
    Nancy Anderson •

    Thank you @Susan. I know that was hard to write - to admit, even to yourself, that you would be considered as being passive aggressive. Hard lessons learned. I wish you all the best on your next position and know that, if you see any bullying around you or directed at you, you will report it right away.

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